Who should read this chapter? All parents with children who seem to have poor hearing because they frequently do not respond to their parents or they respond with "What?".

Summary: It is too easy for children to reply with "What?" or to not reply at all because they know that if the message is important enough, parents will say it again. They have learned that they don't need to pay special attention to their parents' voice. By instituting a disciplinary measure whenever a response of "What?" or no response is received, children will learn to give their parents' voice priority attention and their hearing will seemingly improve.

Have you ever said something to your children and they replied with something like, "Huh?" or "What?" Have you ever told them something and they claim that they didn't hear what you said? Have you ever said something to them within touching distance, but got no response at all? Children hear very well, but their mind may prefer to keep their attention focussed on something else. Listening to parents is not a priority for them, because they know that if something is important, parents will tell it to them again. This was just reviewed in the previous chapter on yelling at children.

I often get requests from parents to check their children's hearing or to remove wax from their ears because their child does not hear very well. Ear wax build up is common, but wax usually does not block the ear canal completely. Sometimes, wax removal will improve hearing, but most of the time, children's hearing is normal.

In reviewing the multiplication table with my children, I tell them the two numbers multiplied together and they must give me the answer as fast as possible. "Six times seven", often brings a reply of "What?" or "Six times seven?", instead of the answer 42. If they reply with "What?" or "Six times seven?", it gives them time to stall. Their response is given as if they didn't hear the question, but the real purpose of their response is to stall for more time. They actually heard the "Six times seven" perfectly. I tell them that they must not reply with "What?" or a repeat of the question. I just want to hear the answer. I know they heard the question and a reply of "What?" or a repeat of the question, is simply a method to stall. Miraculously, after I tell them this, I no longer get requests to repeat the question, because they in fact can hear the question very well. Instead I get the answer promptly, or I get silence until they can come up with the answer.

So a reply of "What?" or something similar from your children, sometimes means that they didn't hear what you just said, but it often means something else, such as: "I need more time to think", "I'd rather pay attention to something else", "I want to make it difficult for you to give me that message" or "I don't really want to hear that".

Everyday conversation is like this also. It is so easy for them to pretend they didn't hear. We make it too easy for them to make the claim that they didn't hear something. If this doesn't bother you, then you don't need to do anything about it. But if it does bother you, then you must institute some form of punishment whenever they claim to have not heard you or no response was given in reply to your statement. As noted in the earlier chapter on discipline, my favorite disciplinary punishment is physical exercise such as running laps and doing push ups. Whenever your children reply with "What?" or no response, immediately assign them some physical exercise. Shortly, you will find that their hearing will improve to near perfection. While they are learning this, their bodies will benefit from the additional physical exercise.

Sometimes your children will complain that they in fact did not hear you. Since you can't tell when this is really true, it's still OK to give them some physical exercise because, a few extra push ups can only help the body, even if they didn't deserve any punishment. Sometimes children don't hear us because they are paying attention to something else (like the TV), but this method will teach them that when they hear a parent's voice, they must direct their attention to that voice to hear the message. Using this method will teach them that a parent's voice should be given priority. Without this type of training, there is no incentive for children to direct their attention away from the TV. Children need to learn that their parents' voice is more important than a TV cartoon. This method will teach them that.

A few words about hearing testing: Even if your child's hearing improves with this method and especially if no hearing improvement is noted, it is a good idea to always have your child's hearing tested routinely at annual medical check ups. Hearing impairment can be difficult to notice because children are very skilled at compensating using other sensory methods. Early detection of hearing impairment, which is best done with routine periodic screening, can result in the early identification and better treatment of a medical condition.

A few words about acoustics: Although we all speak at roughly the same level of voice indoors and outdoors, the two have very different acoustic properties. Indoors, sound energy is confined and it is much easier to hear. Outdoors, sound energy is not confined and it is much more difficult for our voice to carry. It is also much more difficult to hear in a noisy room than it is in a quiet room. Realize this when you direct your voice at your children. You may have to raise your voice level in noisy and outdoor situations.