Who should read this chapter? All parents.

Summary: The consequences of violence are often not appreciated by those who commit violent acts. Many violent offenders regret their acts once the consequences follow. Television and video game violence often leave out the consequences. Many children and teens do not appreciate the consequences of violence and thus, violence seems exciting and attractive to them. Corporal punishment, such as being spanked as a child, may have taught them that violence results in power. We must teach our children the consequences of violence before it is too late. Violence can be prevented by teaching our children to anticipate the consequences of violence.

Violence in our society is worsening or at least awareness of it is increasing. Some violent offenders have psychiatric illnesses. Some violent offenders are victims of severe child abuse or are simply unaware of the consequences of their violence. Violence was left out of the earlier chapter on consequences because it deserves special attention.

Repeating the example used in an earlier chapter, my son in the first grade threw a rock at another child in school. He was mad and he wanted to hurt the other child, but he did not understand the consequences of hurting someone else. Violence seems OK until the consequences are realized.

As a youngster, I was playing an informal game of football in the park with some friends. I was getting pushed around a lot by one of the bigger boys and my feelings were hurt. I got mad enough that I decided to let this guy "have it" on the next play. I hit him on the blind side with all my might and he went down. I thought he was faking injury at first since I was much smaller than him and I did not think I could hurt him that badly. He didn't get up and a neighbor called an ambulance which took him to the hospital. He was released after an exam and he was fine the next day. I gave him credit for not getting mad at me and we were friends again the next day. When I thought about what I did, it was obviously a bad idea. I could have hurt him badly and I would have felt really bad. If I didn't hurt him badly, he would have gotten mad at me and a fight possibly would have started. Either way, I did not anticipate and appreciate the consequences of my violence.

Violence has serious consequences. Teaching children about the consequences of violence at a young age and reinforcing this throughout childhood may reduce a tendency for violence in the future. During childhood, violence is commonly experienced through video games and television. In a video game, you get points for demolishing the opponent, but you don't lose points to pay off the opponent's hospital bill or his law suit. Since children are only presented with the exciting aspects of violence and never confronted with the consequences, violence is very acceptable and attractive to them.

Televised sports such as hockey, football, boxing, martial arts and professional wrestling involve substantial physical contact. The violent aspects of these sports are exciting to viewers. The consequences are usually minimal. In real life, such violent acts have more severe consequences.

In a movie or television show, it's exciting to see the bad guys get beaten by the good guys. The show usually ends here. Wouldn't it be exciting to join a gang of good guys to go beat up the guys in the bad gang. The consequence of this (which is conveniently left out of the movie) is that the bad guys will probably retaliate. Violence results in more violence.

In a movie, it's exciting to see the bad guys get shot and killed. The consequence is that this person who was shot, has family and friends who will be hurt by the loss of this individual. They will be angry and they may retaliate.

Superheros often use violent means to conquer the villains. True, there seems to be minimal consequence here other than the super villains are constantly trying to get revenge on the invincible superhero. However, superheros are not reality. Children often imitate the violent actions of superheros without understanding the consequences of their human (non-superhero) violence.

When we seek revenge, we add fuel to the fire. By using violence to get revenge, have we thought about the consequences of violence? Revenge does not make any sense because there are too many consequences, yet it is part of human nature and it comes naturally. We must consider the consequences in advance and suppress this flaw in our human nature (revenge).

Corporal punishment, such as spanking, as a child, teaches children that violence is acceptable and that violence is associated with power. Exposure to gang violence demonstrates that gang violence results in respect and power.

Periodically, a teenager brings a gun to school where he sprays fellow students with gunfire. The motive for this is usually revenge or to get attention. After the death and destruction, these teens only too late realize the consequences of their actions, which they now deeply regret. Many of them are depressed and suicidal. How does it seem like such an obviously bad idea now when earlier it seemed like such a good idea (a strong urge to grab a gun to shoot everyone to get revenge or attention)? Impulsiveness is part of human nature, which causes us to act, often without thinking about the consequences. If only they had thought about the consequences before they did this.

This is the most important point. The consequences of violence are often only appreciated when it is too late. If parents could explain the consequences of violence to children, they would be more likely to think about consequences prior to committing an act of violence.

Since humans learn best when we are young, understanding the consequences of violence at a young age is more likely to instill a lifelong appreciation of the consequences of violence. Such persons would be less violent. Problems such as violent crime, child abuse, elderly abuse and domestic violence (spouse abuse) may become less frequent.

The consequences of violence include human injury, retaliation against you, your family or your property, revenge, law suits, war, etc. None of these are good. Teach your children about these consequences of violence. Make them understand these consequences. TV, video games and sports often encourage violence. Our job as parents is to make our children understand the reality of violence. If children truly understand the consequences of violence, they may be able to better control the violence potential of their human nature.