Who should read this chapter? All parents.
Summary: Television affects our children and their exposure to television is substantial. Parents must counsel children on how to watch TV and movies. TV provides children with experiences which they will probably never get in life. They may think that these experiences represent normal life when in fact "entertaining" programs are exciting because, these events are not very likely to happen in real life. We don't want children imitating life on TV. An introductory simple way to help them properly watch entertainment programs is to tell them that most of what they see does not reflect real life and they should generally believe the exact opposite of what they watch on TV.
Television is an unavoidable part of modern life. Children get exposed to a substantial amount of TV and movies. Life on TV resembles real life because it frequently broadcasts educational programs to teach our children and many programs have actors who look like real people. Unfortunately, non-educational television programs are largely there for ENTERTAINMENT. Entertaining programs do not depict real life because if it did, it would not be entertaining. Real life is usually safe and boring (not very entertaining if it were on TV). This is how it should be most of the time. Children should understand that there are two types of programs:
1. Educational programs
2. Entertainment programs
Educational programs are generally accurate. These programs bring events into our homes that most of us would never have the chance to experience. Deep sea diving, wild animals, microorganisms, surgery, outer space, foreign travel, extreme wilderness, crime investigations, nuclear physics, mechanical engineering, exotic cooking, financial planning, etc., are all examples of educational programs which have enriched the experiences of all of us. Elementary education programs appear to enrich the educational exposure for young children watching television while parents are busy. Children should be advised that these types of programs are educational and they can generally be believed because they depict reality in the vast world outside of our everyday experiences in our neighborhood.
Entertainment programs are the exact opposite. These programs are entertaining basically because these experiences are excitingly "unreal". "Unreal" means not real. These programs do not reflect reality. Basically, children should be taught that whatever they see on entertainment programs, they should believe that the exact opposite is true.
Spy thrillers entertain because an invincible spy slips through high security measures and an entire army of bad guys with the latest weapons, all while he is dressed in a suit and accompanied by several beautiful female associates. Intergalactic space adventures entertain because they represent predictions of the future. Superhero adventures entertain because these superheros have powers that we all envy and the good guys always win. Many of these entertainment programs are obvious misrepresentations of reality and it is not hard for children to realize that you can't escape an entire army, we can't yet travel to other galaxies and most of us can't fly and deflect bullets off our chests.
The more difficult problems occur with programs which somewhat resemble real life. These television programs give children the impression that life is normally this way and that real people act this way. In daytime television dramas, everyone fools around with everyone else because this is entertaining. But this does not necessarily represent real life. MOST people don't behave this way. MOST people don't have a new affair every month. MOST people don't go to parties every night. MOST people don't dress in suits and evening gowns every day. MOST 50 year olds don't have affairs with 20 year olds. MOST people don't murder their parents for insurance money. These events make the drama exciting, but this does not reflect reality.
Other television dramas, comedies and adventures programs depict other types of untruths. Here's a list of examples:
In a program taking place on a college campus, college life is depicted as chasing the opposite sex and getting drunk. Unattractive males appear to be irresistible to beautiful women attempting to seduce them. Smoking marijuana at least once to try it out, is the norm. There is only one virgin in a college dormitory and this person is ridiculed for still being a virgin. If you are a virgin by the time you enter college, you are somehow abnormal. If children perceive all this as being normal behavior, they are more likely to engage in behavior which puts them at some risk.
In a television drama taking place in a hospital, a doctor jumps from one serious emergency case to another within a few minutes of each other. Very exciting, but if real doctors worked this way, they would make many mistakes and the stress level would be so high, they would not last.
One bothersome television program described one of the male characters admitting that he had been intimate with only one women his entire life. His companion made fun of him and declared him to be the only such person on the planet. This was rather disturbing, if you ask me. After watching this program, a naive youngster would believe that being faithful to a single partner for life is somehow bad, or that multiple lovers are necessary before getting married.
Casual sex, promiscuity, smoking, drinking, lying, violence, cheating, job hopping, etc., are frequently depicted in television dramas. I have told my children that they should believe the exact opposite of what life is really like. I have explained to them that these programs are entertaining because these things don't really happen. Real life should be safe and mostly boring (not very entertaining), with some excitement only. Too much of anything is not good; even excitement. This much excitement (the amount seen on entertainment programs) should not be considered normal.
Additionally, many entertainment stars themselves are not normal people. While they behave somewhat normally in their television programs, in real life, they often do not behave normally. Many of us are fans of entertainment stars, and these people are often idolized by youngsters. They could do a lot of good in this world by setting examples of a more ideal life since their words are heard by so many. Many of them should be commended for their public service activities and generosity in supporting programs to improve the lives of others in this world. But many of them could do more. In many instances, however, what we generally see of them is lavish lifestyles, multiple affairs, unstable marriages, disrupted families, substance abuse, irrational public behavior, violence, self-inflicted financial ruin, mental illness, etc. This makes stories about their lives, popular topics in entertainment journals and tabloids (because this is exciting and not normal).
In our everyday work, whether you work at a supermarket, gas station, airline, restaurant or hotel, famous entertainers are frequently encountered along with average customers who are not so famous. In my line of work in a hospital emergency room, I have encountered several famous entertainers. Many of them are incredibly rude, demanding and selfish. For all they have, they are frequently unwilling to wait their turn. If you ask me, these are not the kind of behaviors that I want my children idolizing.
We frequently blame the entertainment industry for some of society's problems. But they are not to blame. Their job is to ENTERTAIN and that is what they do well. Our job as PARENTS is to teach our children to distinguish entertainment from real life. Since we can't be there during every television program and movie, we must at least counsel them about the reality (actually non-reality) of most of these programs. Help them to understand which programs represent real life and which do not.
While the television news may be mostly factual, the news is there for our entertainment. If the news were boring, no one would watch it. Would you watch the news everyday if it described 10 different families having a perfectly normal and peaceful day? Of course not. The news selectively delivers stories that are particularly interesting (exciting and entertaining). Violence, death, injury, disaster and sports championships are the most frequent news headlines. Although the news is factual, watching the news can give a viewer a distorted image of the world. While our community is largely safe and quiet, the rest of the world appears to be boiling in violence or winning a major sports championship. A child could become demoralized imagining the terrible world out there. Children need parental guidance even when watching the news.