Who should read this chapter? All parents.
Summary: Teens spend late nights hanging out in parking lots, secluded roads and other risky places because they have nowhere else to go. While we often don’t want teens congregating at our home late at night, inviting them to congregate at our homes may be less risky. The choice is simple. Invite them to congregate at your home, or let them find somewhere else to congregate (parking lots, night clubs, pool halls, abandoned buildings, etc.).
When your teens go out with their friends at night, where do they go and what do they do? Their evening often starts out at parties, movies, ball games, school activities, concerts, etc. These events may end at 10:00 pm, 11:00 pm, or midnight. What do they do after that? They could go to parking lots, night clubs, pool halls, gang club houses, hotel rooms, parks, abandoned buildings, nearby wooded forests, secluded roads, etc. While the event that starts out the night is often OK, teens must often retreat to some other spot before going home. An eating establishment is often chosen, but this can be a bit expensive and they are not allowed to stay there for more than an hour or so. Do we really want our teens congregating in parking lots, parks, abandoned buildings or secluded roads? Hanging out in these areas is risky.
Why do teens congregate in such undesirable locations? The answer is simple. There is nowhere else to go. As a teen, going home at 11:00 pm, was just not the teen thing to do. We had to do something else before going home. We used to go to graveyards, high school parking lots, abandoned back roads and night clubs (even if we were too young to get in, we could hang out outside the night club). If teens had an all night club house that they could go to, without being bothered by adult parents, they would go there. Most communities don’t have such facilities. As parents, we should be concerned about this and we should provide them with such a facility.
The safest facility is our home, but of course teens won’t want to come to our home, because parents are there. Make a deal with them. Provide your teen with the garage, yard or living room of your home. Promise them that you will not bother them during their night teen congregations. You may need to sound-proof your bedroom door and you may need to take some other precautions to prevent excessive noise from bothering the neighbors. You may decide to impose some rules for this privilege such as no smoking, no drugs and no alcohol. If you permit alcohol (this is against the law), consider placing a limit on it. Teens should be given the responsibility to clean up the area by the next day. Sleepovers of “guests” require special permission and notification of the other parents involved.
Teens now have a place to go to hang out. It’s a lot less risky than a parking lot, night club or abandoned road. Parents often object to teens congregating at their home because it is noisy, disruptive and messy. This is a small price to pay for their safety and well being. If you are anxious about where your teens are late at night, try this.